


Starmora: What If I Loved All These 'What Ifs' Away

by solarsaros



Series: Starmora: Song Fics [2]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Marvel Universe, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Starmora
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 15:50:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19704556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarsaros/pseuds/solarsaros
Summary: Gamora is having doubts about her relationship with Peter Quill/Star-Lord, so Peter sits her down and they discuss their feelings. Inspired by Kane Brown’s ‘What Ifs’. Starmora. First kiss.“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me,” he said and Gamora’s brow furrowed.“What?”“Do it.”“What – no.”“Why not?”“Because – because I said no.”“Because it would be a lie. ‘Cause you do love me.”| 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑡, 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑎𝑖𝑛'𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑙𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛' 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒, 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑢𝑝 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑘𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝐼'𝑑 𝑔𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓𝑠 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦 |





	Starmora: What If I Loved All These 'What Ifs' Away

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Kane Brown’s ‘What Ifs’. Give it a listen for the experience, it’s catchy af!
> 
> If you have a song in mind, leave it in the comment section

Peter had heard everything. Standing outside the door to Mantis' bedroom, he'd listened to their conversation, listened as Gamora confided in Mantis about her relationship with him. Not a single word past him by, and neither did the sickness pooling in his stomach. 

It hadn’t been long since he and Gamora had admitted there was an unspoken thing between them but they had yet to act on it. They'd always been close emotionally, they told each other everything, they were best friends afterall, so that side of the relationship proved easy and natural. The physical aspect of the relationship, however, was taking them some time to get used to the idea of, at least it seemed to be taking Gamora time. Peter had already spent almost every night since their defeat of Ronan, thinking about Gamora, allowing his mind to wander, to picture what it would be like to be intimate with her.

Wanting to be closer to her, to show her how he felt about her, he’d been a little more touchy-feely than he normally was; reaching for her hand when they sat by each other during dinner, kissing her cheek, squeezing her shoulders as he moved past her, draping his arm over her shoulders as they sat in the bar's booth on an evening. Peter often found that he wasn't brilliant with words, making a fool of himself instead of sounding romantic and sincere, and found it easier to show his affection through physical contact. Gamora, on the other hand, wasn't used to being so close physically with someone and had been more distant than usual. Peter had noticed how she was acting strangely around him immediately but hadn’t quite been able to pinpoint why. He knew that physical intimacy, relationships, and vulnerability were unfamiliar territory to Gamora but he'd thought that she would have trusted him enough by now. He'd been confused until he heard their conversation.

He’d pressed his ear to the door as she'd said, “I care for him, I do, and I… I want to, ugh, I want to be with him–”

“Romantically–” butted in Mantis.

“Yes… but…”

“But?”

“What if this all goes south, what if he… or I… mess things up?”

“You have not given yourself a chance to do such a thing,” replied Mantis, and Peter could sense Gamora dropping her head into her hands. “You are worried he is going to hurt you,.”

“I just… Peter and I are two very different people. He's got lots of experience in this field, I don't. It takes a lot for me to allow myself to be close to someone, but he's not the same," then she'd paused and let out a muffled sigh. "I don't want to open myself up to him, be vulnerable and intimate with him if after he's just going to get up and leave... I don't think I could… I do not think I could handle him leaving me.”

Peter’s stomach had dropped when he heard that and he'd leaned closer to the door, wanting to go in and hold her.

“Peter loves you. I can feel it. It is very strong.”

“People fall out of love… who’s to say he won’t… what if he finds somebody else and doesn't need me, anymore? What if, after I give myself to him, he moves on to the next woman? It's not as though he doesn't have a reputation for that very thing.”

Gamora had continued to list off everything that could go wrong if she and Peter were to take that step further, and it had made Peter’s heart sink. Sure, he'd been with a lot of women in his lifetime, had a lot of one-night-stands and escaped before they could wake up, but he knew that Gamora was different. He'd never felt this before. Every time he saw her, thought about her, heard her voice, a warmth flooded through him and he couldn't prevent the need to smile. The idea of seeing her every day, of spending the rest of his life with her on their ship and speeding through the galaxy, didn't make him want to run. No other woman had ever made him feel that way. He needed to make Gamora realise that he wasn't going to run from her. 

So, now he stood outside of her bedroom door, his hand hovering in front of it as he waited for his brain to snap back into gear and make it knock. When it finally did, he nervously moved from one foot to the other as he waited. Opening the door, she greeted him with a small smile. 

“Can I come in?” he asked.

“… Oh… sure.”

She closed the door once he was in and Peter bit his lip, looking her up and down, the urge to grab her and hold her close was so strong. He wanted to comfort her, tell her he was all hers until his last breath, and to run his hands through her hair, her gorgeous hair that drove him crazy. It was so soft, smelled so good, so - 

“Are you okay?” she asked, breaking him free of his thoughts. His eyes moved from the tips of her hair to her eyes and he cleared his throat.

“I heard you earlier,” his voice came out rough.

“Pardon?”

“I heard you talking to Mantis.”

Gamora stayed silent, shifting her eyes from his and focusing on a spot of the floor. She wrapped her arms around herself, hugging herself, and Peter suddenly felt guilty.

“I shouldn’t have been listening, I know, but I wanna talk to you about it.”

He moved to her, trying not to feel hurt when she took a step back, and held out his hands. He didn’t move them, standing there and waiting for what felt like an eternity for her to take them. When she finally did, he walked them to her bed and they sat down. He kept hold of one of her hands, the other moving a curl of her hair from her face and twirling it around his fingers.

“You think I’m gonna mess us up,” he said, and Gamora’s eyes met his.

“I–”

“And don’t try saying you think that either one of us could mess this up because we both know I’m the most likely to do so, don’t we?”

She swallowed the lump in her throat and said, “It was a silly moment of fear.”

“But why do you think I’m gonna mess things up if we start a relationship, take the next step? Why do you think I'd ever leave you... especially for somebody else?”

She didn’t respond and Peter's lips moved into a frown.

“It’s ‘cause I’ve never been in a relationship, ain’t it? Look, I know that I’ve only ever gotten with girls before for a night and then moved on but you’re different.”

He felt Gamora tense and shook his head.

“I’m serious. I want to be with you. Every time I'm around you I feel - I feel all warm inside, and-”

“That does not seem to stop you from flirting with other women.”

Peter winced at the bitterness in her tone and thought back to the last time he had flirted with anyone other than her. It hadn’t been that long ago; he’d flirted with the High Priestess when they were on The Sovereign, and, though this was before they'd confessed their feelings for one another, Gamora had looked mightily unimpressed.

“I admitted that was a mistake and I apologised. It was out of habit; I didn’t mean it.”

“What if this habit continues?”

“You’re all about the ‘what ifs’, huh?” he said, and squeezed her hand, his other moved from her hair to behind her on the bed so he was leaning closer to her. “What if I ain’t one of them fools just playing some game? What if I’ve changed? What if I was made for you and you were made for me? What if it just took the Universe some time to get us to find each other?”

“Are you suggesting we are soul mates?” she scoffed.

“It’s not the craziest thing I’ve ever suggested. Look, 'Mora, I've never felt this way about anybody else before. I love you."

"You shouldn't."

"I'm not going through this with you, again. I don't care about your past or anything 'bad' you've done. I love you for who you are, why don't you understand that? And, why can't you do the same for me - why can't you forget about my past and let us move on together?"

Her expression grew even more upset than it had been throughout their whole conversation and Peter felt the urge to throw his arms around her in a tight hug but knew she'd not accept it in that moment. He instead brought her hand up to rest on his cheek and held it there in his own.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me,” he said and Gamora’s brow furrowed.

“What?”

“Do it.”

“What – no.”

“Why not?”

“Because – because I said no.”

“Because it would be a lie. ‘Cause you do love me.”

She pulled her hand away from his face and moved back from him on the bed.

“Stop it, Peter.”

“But it’s true,” he reached for her, grasping her waist and shuffling himself closer again. “You love me and I love you, so why shouldn’t we be together? Why shouldn't we be happy?”

“Peter… I don't want either of us to get hurt.”

“The only thing that’s hurting me right now is the idea that I can’t be with the woman I love because she’s too focused on the ‘what ifs’ instead of giving it a try.”

She hung her head, her face obscured by her hair now, but her hand moved to grip Peter’s arm gently.

“What if I pulled you close… what if I leaned in,” his voice was low now as he moved closer, his face right by hers as he lifted it up by her chin. “What if I kissed you, right now… would that really be so bad?”

Gamora closed her eyes, and Peter pressed his forehead to hers.

"Please, 'Mora... give us a chance. I want us to be happy. Let me love you."

Her hands were on the back of his head before he could comprehend what was happening and suddenly her lips were on his. It was a rough kiss, tension and lust all wrapped into one, and Peter wrapped his arms fully around her to keep them steady. He enjoyed the feel of her smooth lips against his rougher ones but he wanted more, he needed it, so brushed his tongue over hers and she allowed him to deepen it. Pushing him down, her body pressed now to his side, her leg tucked between his and her fingers running through his hair as they continued their first kiss. Her body moved against him and he held her tighter, trying to still her a little so he wouldn't grow too excited and make her uncomfortable. She pulled back, her eyes focused on her own finger that traced his jawline then bottom lip.

"Okay," she said in a quiet voice and Peter's face broke out into a wide smile.

He hugged her, tucking his face into her neck and rolling her over so he was on top of her. He kept his arms around her and kissed the side of her head repeatedly then all over her face.

"Thank you," he grinned. "I won't let you down."

𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓𝑠 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are always so good! Thank you for the support on all my other fics btw. This isn't one of the best but I'll come back in the future and spruce it up.


End file.
